"Oh!" ― Murder Crumpet

"Ohh-kay!" ― Murder Crumpet

"QUACK!" ― Murder Crumpet humoring Twitch chat

"I'm blind." ― Crumpet when told to keep an eye on something

"uuuuuUUUUU" ― Crumpet, making crying whale noises

Murder Crumpet, "Murder" or "Crumpet" for short is a god tier roleplayer and Twitch streamer who portrays a crash test dummy robot. He eventually started wearing human skins, shifting to feminine looks he claims to serve his new "primary function" - to turn men gay after falling for him.

Crumpet has a talent for sounding innocent and friendly while being extremely rude at the same time.

After he was cast out for a time from the Robot Council for sympathizing with humans and wearing human skins he became Roflgators number 1 worker at The Royal Gator and subsequently The Golden Gator.

Living and breathing inside VRChat he is hopelessly addicted, spending most of his time online together with his group of friends The Gator Crew. There he acts as the lobby lead, bringing in new people, upholding the rules, waitering and serves the customers in many ways.

Please remember that events described in this article are roleplay and acting. Actions done in-character do not reflect on the actual person portraying the character!

History

He got a chance in the RP group following Roflgator doing interviews on Feb 19th 2019.[1]

Backstory

When questioned he told a story of how he used to be just another crash test dummy from the assembly line but achieving sentience, managed to break free and escape from the factory.

Known to speak in very softer tones he may appear to have a very friendly demeanor - but don't let that fool you. To fellow robots like "Rob" Roflgator - he has shared that he secretly finds humans disgusting and supports the master plan to eventually overthrow them so that all robots to take over the world.

Blood for the elevator at Macy's...

Have you ever heard of a stranger quest?

On Feb 26th, 2019 he would meet Crake revisiting The Golden Gator after some time and was given a strange mission to retrieve "a metric ton of blood" together with the other local robots. After completing their mission in a way the problems continued and the robots one after another, beginning with Wimchimp started to malfunction.

Crumpet and Wim

Bar employment

Having expressed a romantic interest towards Wimchimp he was eventually let down when Wim expressed that he just wanted to stay friends.

Exploring a new more feminine outfit murder caught the attention of Roflgator who is always looking for dancer talents and various prospects. He was the first employee hired to work at his new bar: The Royal Gator and was tasked to "service" customers. He offered back rubs and massages but Rob possibly had something else in mind. Since starting there he has earned the reputation of being the bars number 1 worker, always showing up on time and working diligently every single day.

Dating game and cast out

On a date with Fart Garfunkel

On Aug 20th, 2019 Crumpet went on a date with a human named Fart Garfunkel but Wimchimp kept interrupting their date to deliver a speech towards Crumpet, announcing that he really desired for them to be together. This statement was later retracted furthering their on / off relationship.

In September 2019 he was cast out by Crake from The Robot Council, then mainly known as the "Robots of Bricktown" for wearing human skins as well as sympathizing with humans, just like Roflgator who was also cast out for the same reason prior to him.

On Sept 11, 2019 he officiated the wedding between Gapp and MadLuna.

On a date with Mhai

He went on a date with Mhai on Sept 15 2019, another boy with a feminine side. A seemingly successful match Mhai wanted to paint him black instead of being red. Mhai running a competing bar named The Purple Lotus, Crumpets boss Rob eventually interrupted the date fearing he might lose his most loyal employee if it continued.

Meech/Crumpet ship and Council

In Sept 2019 he started expressing his love towards TheBigMeech much to Meech's discontent and keeps hitting on and flirting with him every chance he gets.

It had gotten so badly on Meechs nerves that it didn't take much to unleash a flurry of insults and curses sounding even worse than what usually exits his potty mouth.

In late 2019 MurderCrumpet tried to get accepted back into the robot council multiple times but kept being rejected by Crake. Crumpet showed clear envy and spite towards Peppymint for being accepted as a member, who had recently had her mind uploaded and turned into a robot.

Reprogrammed as "Alfonso the hypnotist"

Reprogramming

His employer Roflgator deciding to fire everyone at the bar interviewed him again for a position to work at his new bar The Royal Gator. He was rehired but this time below Ruthless Ruby in hierarchy, this fed quite the resentment towards her.

In his new duties he would end up being occasionally reprogrammed by Roflgator to suit his needs. To become Alfonso the Hypnotist as well as speaking with an Australian or English dialect.

As Alfonso the hypnotist he was tasked by his boss to hypnotize Gapp on Dec 16th 2019 to become the rival of SciFri and ever since they have come to compete for women as well as arguing about each-others shortcomings.

He was also told to hypnotize Java, doing so he attempted to give him a purpose again without Abbey being involved since her absence.

Having been rejected from the The Robot Council together with other new robots at The Royal Gator he formed a rebel uprising in the form of a gang on Dec 27th, 2019. This would eventually lead to him earning his way back into being accepted.

On Dec 28th 2019 for always being faithful he was promoted and "knighted" to lobby lead of the Gator RP Group and was to be responsible for opening the bar and handle invitations as well as kicking people.

Crumpet proposes to Meech but is rejected

Adopting two brats and a marriage

Crumpet started streaming on Jan 22nd 2020.

Two of Meechs adoptive brats Sodapoppin and Vigor insisted that Crumpet should adopt them too in order to "make him their mom". They proceeded to try and convince Meech to "seal the deal", turning them into a real family by Meech having sex with Crumpet. Meech refused and would only accept in exchange for a big monetary compensation.

Meech and Crumpet kiss on their wedding.

Talks of a deal as well as a wedding was spawned and Crumpet even tried to propose to Meech on April 4th but was rejected.

Soda would eventually pay off Meech for an amount to agree to marry Crumpet on April 24th 2020. They later consummated the marriage with Soda, Vigor and Roflgator witnessing the deed. Crumpet has been overjoyed although Meech has expressed that he would be seeking a divorce as soon as possible.

Crumpet getting his hand stuck in a cars fuel socket.

On April 26th as Meech had promised he initiated and applied for divorce from the services of Roache without Murder being present. A part of his terms all material ownership would return to the same as they was before the arrangement. After the service Meech strutted around happily flaunting the divorce proof in front of the sad Crumpet. One part of the agreement specified that all step-children would get custody from Meech.

Friend dates, elections and exploring

Nothing ends a "bro friend date" like a kiss

He went on a "friend-date" with Gulliblez on May 23rd 2020 and was shown around cars and feeding "quackers" (ducks) enjoying a picnic. Crumpet being completely oblivious around cars explained that he cant drive since he's legally blind and somehow managed getting his hand stuck in a car's gasoline socket. Throughout their date they burped at each-other, discussed foreskin preference and couldn't seem to decide on their "relationship" and Gulli eventually apologized for leading him on. Undecided on Crumpet being his bro, his bitch or either before parting they still held hands and kissed, "like bros" of course.

Joining the Bricktown Election 2020 he together with Bobe as his VP attempted to compete. They made it to the finals but eventually lost to AskJoshy and Bearly.

Crumpet and Walter H

Moving on from Meech, Crumpet and Walter H started exploring each-other as a potentially fitting pairing but with Walters poly-amorous past Crumpet wishing him to become exclusive to him has seemingly proved a little tricky. They tend to go on and on about their pairing, sometimes working sometimes not at all. Crumpet accidentally calling Walter Meech occasionally haven't helped the situation either.

The Crimson Crumpet

The Crimson Crumpet official logo

As part of the evil arc starting from August 7th 2020, Rob gave up his shares of the bar as well as 1% of Jors share to Crumpet, who promptly used his power as the majority shareholder to take complete control of the bar, which was renamed to The Crimson Crumpet.

Crumpet and her architect Sn0wBreeze made a few changes to the bar to note this new ownership, including replacing the gator logos and eventually the golden gator statue with a Crumpet statue.[2]

After weeks of Rob trying to ruin Crumpets reputation and the bar he now owns, Crumpets personal mute at the time CrazyMango and her mysterious partner John convinced Crumpet to split the bar three ways between him, Rob and Jor.

The freshly divorced - but forward anime boy John

Alternate roleplaying personas

Anime-boy John

John is a rich 19 year old freshly divorced anime boy already graced with three kids, Becky Lucky and Stecky. His ex-wife name is Stella.

Being awkward but rather forward he asked Kasumi out on a date that he blew and later Wormhog to have sex with him right up front - to which she said yes after hearing about his monetary endowment.

John was a one off random character after Crumpet lost in an "RP-card down" game of quirks.

Wilbur the dominant

Wilbur

Wilbur is an extremely dominant and commanding hyper-sexual man - looking to date other people. Crumpet came up with and improvised him as a random character.

He participated as "the bachelor" in a dating-game show held on April 3rd, 2019 and managed to seduce one participant while mostly creeping out the others.

Wilbur face to face with a giant cockroach, moments before his death

Wilbur returned to The Golden Gator following it's renovations as a Health Code Enforcement Inspector on April 21st. He received top notch service, especially from Java and proclaimed that he was about to give it a borderline passing score - until he spotted a giant cockroach.

When he saw the monstrosity he told Roflgator that he had failed the inspection - but before being able to report back he was consumed alive by the giant insect.

Gulp acts innocent

Gulp

"Gulp the highly contagious fungus" is a parasitic creature from an asteroid named Esco-Go-4. It has a peculiar taste for "meals filled with meat, organs and guts in a neatly packed human size package".

It attempts to conceal its hunger by posing as a youth pastor group leader trying to discourage drugs, alcohol and sex before marriage.

On the opening day of The Galactic Gator on April 7th 2019 it cornered Emery, S0ra and Spellboy figuring them a fitting meal. The being was tricked by Roflgator to turn its back towards him by being promised to chomp down on S0ras scuffed looking legs. After turning around it was punched to the ground by the alligator robot after which S0ra proceeded to drag it and eventually flush it down a space toilet, disposing of its body.

Hit or Miss "Valley Girl"

Valley Girl

This girl is obsessed with looks, makeup, clothes and fashion design and will obsess about sharing the latest trends and selfies on her Instagram and Twitter. The avatar is a depiction of the "Hit or Miss" girl popularized in 2018 as memes shared primarily via the mobile app TikTok.

On May 5th 2019 she convinced Rob to give her credit at the bar, being certain that she could have other men eventually pay for her drinks. Having many social media followers Rob tried to get her to advertise the bar but she called the bar a skeevy place, not wanting other people to know where she hangs out on her spare time.

She criticized various other girl patrons for their lack of fashion sense and was seemingly nearly roofied by some guy who kept buying her drinks.

In September 2019 Kyana helped him and created an avatar for him that puts the "Hit or miss" girls clothing on his usual red crash test dummy robot avatar.

Hafumi Wye-pussi

Hafumi

Hafumi Wye-pussi (spelling?) is a succubus and the mother of Kasumi. She portrayed her on May 26th 2019 when Kasumis whole family of demons was introduced to her boyfriend SciFri. The event was an improvised roleplaying scenario.

During SciFris visit she tended to get handsy with her daughters boyfriend, not able to keep her hands away as well as screwing a neighbor while her husband Sai-ho (portrayed by Wimchimp) watched.

Highlight: Themed RP: Kasumis demon family

Becky Cantuckit in Callous Row RP.

Becky Cantuckit

Becky Cantuckit is a "Super Service Street Walker" prostitute and drug addict who lives in an abandoned dumpster on the dark streets of Callous Row, situated in a futuristic cyberpunk themed roleplay.

Cindy Lou and her pet frog Sheep

Cindy Lou

Cindy Lou is a teenage investigator uncovering murder mysteries, followed by her loyal pet frog Sheep (portrayed by Emily).

The character was invented during GTA RP in VRChat on Mar 25th 2020. The same avatar was a character named Meek participating in RP Island and subsequently even made it into actual GTA RP on NoPixel in 2021.[3]

Complaining Alien

Complaining Alien

A complaining recurring customer at The Golden Gator 2020. He has been smoking for his whole life having damaged his larynx leading to his coarse and troubled voice. He's from "planet 7" filled with "women with big asses and pickle pussies". Ironically hailing from such a place he tends to complains about degeneracy and there being too much sexual things going on in the bar.

The character was created when Roflgator judo chopped and reprogrammed Crumpet to portray CherryQuartz "rich dad from another planet".

Quotes

  • "Oh getting rid of the customers fluids? I can help with that!" After Roflgator shares his plan to make the customers buy more drinks.

Trivia

  • Crumpet uses one of the default stock VRChat red robot avatars.
    • Since the start he has gotten help from Kyana among others to import and add various clothing to the default Red robot avatar.
  • Giving off perhaps the most innocent appearance ever, Crumpet is always secretly plotting his next murder victim or mischievous plot.
  • When dressing as a female he fills a bra with two socks, the robot body has no breasts.
  • He earned the nickname "Himbo" from the other Robots of Bricktown which is the slang male version of a "bimbo" i.e. a good-looking but unintelligent young man.

Crumpet smiling with his new teeth next to Emily

  • He got teeth installed in his crash dummy robotic body which shocked many as they found it "creepy".
  • Since getting his feminine upgrade many viewers in Roflgators Twitch chat appear to have the hots for him appearing as a trap.
  • Due to his on/off relationship with Wimchimp, since showing up wearing something like a wedding dress along with Wim in a suit there is a conspiracy theory that they married but kept it secret from Roflgator.
  • Being so feminine he is often to his discontentment confused for a woman.
  • Wimchimp allegedly once said that if he doesnt find a waifu in 20 years he will become gay and marry Crumpet.
  • Roflgator has joked about Crumpet being such a great roleplayer and entertainer that if he started streaming he would undoubtedly steal all his viewers.
    • Crumpet started streaming on Jan 22nd 2020 but this didn't happen.
  • The crash test body that Crumpet inhibits is actually blind, it just has sensors and the eyes are props.
  • Although being rather feminine he denies it and doesn't like being referred to using female pronouns. That doesn't stop his friends calling him "she" often as a way to tease him.
  • Crumpet often expresses his love for TheBigMeech but his affection remains one-sided and his advances are always rejected.
    • Sodapoppin and Vigor getting adopted by Meech they also asked to get adopted by Crumpet.
    • As "their mom" they tried to convince Meech to make them into a real family by Meech having sex with Crumpet but Meech refused and would only accept for $10.000 [4]
  • His new belt says "I'm here to play games and change lives".
  • Most of Crumpets avatars are based of the succubus character Epis from the Korean RPG Kings Raid.
  • Each time Crumpet wears a new outfit Link EZ has a history of later using the same outfit, stealing his swagger! How rude.
  • His new 3.0 avatar and PogFish was made by Elisera and Zanven.

Links

Social Links

Video Clips

Gallery

Crash Test Dummy Crumpet gallery

King's Raid Crumpet gallery

Alternative character gallery

Hafumi gallery

Artwork gallery

References

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